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Monday 30 October 2017

B R O K E N

When was the last time that I genuinely felt happy?

When was the last time I could really tell someone what's on my mind?

When was the last time that I truly felt loved?

My mind has been filled up with all sorts of thoughts and its negative.

Haven't been feeling myself lately.

Distancing away myself and a lot more away from social media.

Up to the point whereby I don't even talk about my problems, not to any single person.

At the end of the day, it's just you against the world.

All alone.

I tried many ways to make me feel happy again.

Doing the things I enjoy the most.

Being around with people I love.

I do, of course, am appreciative of the things I have in life.

But I always asked

'am I really happy?'

'why am I feeling this way?'

I could be happy for a minute and lost the next when bad memories started to haunt me.

Maybe because I lost the person who I thought I could live with forever, whom I gave my trust to.

Forever?

Does it really exist?

People still asked me a lot whether have I let go?

I doubt.

But I always ended up faking a smile and told them

Yes. I have to.

I guess nothing lasts forever and there's no forever.

Feelings fade, things change. So do people.

I often questioned myself,

'why do feelings diminished after a period?'

'why do couples even start in the first place and ended up with

not being compatible?'

'why didn't I make things better to make you stay?'

'why someone leaves when they told you they wouldn't hurt you?'

'why... what if...'

Does it mean that they have given you enough and that it drains them, so they choose to leave in order to protect themselves? Because they think they have sacrificed more than you do? Because you no longer serve them happiness?

The past has brought so much anxiety and stresses that I often blamed myself for being the 'problem' who caused you to leave.
All I am feeling right now is lost.

I hate this feeling so bad.
Who am I really was, the person before I knew you?

Sunday 18 June 2017

Bangkok Trip

Earlier this month, I travelled to Bangkok with a group of friends. It was my second visit to the city and pretty much enjoyed my week over there. Lots of local delicacy and night market shopping.

Our accommodation over our 8 days stay.

Borarn House Hotel

Really loving their hospitality, especially the lady who served us over the week! But the downside of it... being fed with mosquitoes and the only way up and down your rooms are by stairs. Imagining us carry our 20+kg luggage during our check out.

Don't think I will blog through our daily literary in sequence because I don't exactly remember what comes first or I have every picture of it.

Truelove Husky Cafe

If you'd asked, I have phobia of dogs or pretty much any other animals. I would have never dared to walk beside any pets. That day was a great experience for me! Couldn't have imagined myself getting so close to the huskies and even petting one..

Had our cakes and drinks before getting in for the playtime with the huskies!

Well, of course, I had grab on this girl right here when I had moments that I wanted to get off the play area.. T.T

Such a beauttt.

Look at this fluffyyyy littleeee cutieeee, MOMO

As he was chilling in front of a fan, everyone came over to take pictures with it. The only dog I am most comfortable with hahaha.

Dinner at Nikko Cafe

The food was great and what's better? Their menu illustration.

Yes, food pics again.

7 of us, in case you are wondering.

Lunch at Roast, The Commons.

First time over at The Commons, loving the ambience and the variety of restaurants you could choose over there.

When you see it, you know it!

Weekend Chatuchak Market

Initial plan was to head over to Phil Company Cafe for breakfast, but somehow the only thing on their menu was only coffee with some breakfast sets. Lucky enough there was a place nearby for us to settle our meal! If not.. there goes our cab fares..

Quaint

I ordered the green curry fried rice. (left top) It was fiery fiery fieryyyyyyy! Never assume your order.. Before ordering I thought it was a plate of basic fried rice with green curry soup. It turns out to be a plate of everything spicy. I swear after that order I make sure to place my order that goes with LESS spicy. Wouldn't say I regretted having it, I even finished the whole plate even though my mouth was on fire.

'Kampong' feels of the place. There's indoor and alfresco dining of the restaurant itself. We almost couldn't figure out it was an eatery place when we walked past the area.

Oh yes! Liking the service staffs at Quaint. Engaging and energetic = Excellent :)))

They even tried interacting Chinese with us tho!

Breakkie over at On Lok Yun

Had their traditional breakfast set. Surprisingly, their french toast was so different from what I usually have. It comes in a round shape.. They have their eggs in a cup and they add an amazing fish soy sauce with it too!